Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: A Requiem

No break-ups are pleasant.

Break-ups are definitely never easy. It's also the hardest choice to conclude.

Break-ups are so bad that when tears run out from your eyes, they draw up additional water from your bladder, convert them into partial tears and you sort of cry and urinate from your eyeballs, and when all sources of water are totally exhausted, then blood will ooze out of your eye balls, 22 seconds later you drop dead!

5 seconds after that, someone will revived you and because you ran out of tears, your eyes starts to shed shit!

Break-ups are unquestionably worse than death. In death, at least you knew it's gone forever but in break-ups, you can sense it's presence nearby!

Break-ups are torturing, mentally and physically.....mentally because it haunts you for life and physically because you are emotionally paralysed for all eternity.

Dogs are man's best friends, a truism many dog lovers sweared by. Today I discovered they are much more than just best friends. They are one in you and when you lose them, it's like a part of your limbs being torn away from you. I wonder whether the hurt will ever heal? Invisible wounds and invisible pain..that only God's amazing love can help you comprehend.

The relationship between dog and man is beyond any man's comprehension. Only God's wisdom can explain the love shared between a dog and it's owner. You find a piece of a dog's heart in the man and vice versa.

Goodbye to my dearest Terrorist and Dictator; Saddam and Hitler.

Goodbye is a much preferred word than farewell because it holds a hope that someday we meet again whereas farewell sounded so hopeless.

Even though I know we are separated, I can still feel the presence of your cheerful spirit accompanying my miserable solitude. When the wind blew, I was sure I felt one of your gentle loving licks and heard your soft yelping.

Perhaps our heart-rending parting will bring more joy to your new owners; I knew it will. I am convinced that your new life with these new owners is more joyous than your life with me. Honestly, I celebrate your new found joy with mixed emotions; in tears of joy and sadness (a bottle of champagne in one hand and a bottle of king cobra venom in the other hand).

I do not know whether to play Neil Sedaka's Breaking Up Is Hard To Do or The Slik's The Requiem? Or should I play Elton John's Candle In The Wind? Or maybe I should play The 3 Degrees When Will I See You Again to fill my grieving loss with a hope?

Strange, uncanny but true, my hands pulled out the cd of Love Me Love My Dog by Peter Shelley! ~Smiling~ I knew I have to let you guys go because I love you. You will suffer being with me.

I knew you are safe in the love of your new owners.

Peace and Love Always to my most Beloved Saddam and Hitler.

For the sake of remembrance, I am keeping a pee stained piece of cloth and a cube of your shit in an air tight crystal container. This container will be guarded 24 hours by a volunteer group of killer bees.

My apologies that I am not posting any photographs of Saddam and Hitler's because of their exceedingly swollen eyes.

In conclusion, I now solemnly trust my beloved into your hands and have faith that you will love them both in sickness and in health; in rich and in poor; in deep pee and in deep shit; till death do you part.

Love you always Saddam and Hitler.